LATFH

"I ironically love irony"

 

Meet Jimi Heselden.  Jimi is a British millionaire worth an estimated £166 million.  In December of 2009, Jimi turned in some of his millions along with his fixie, to purchase Segway.  Well evidently, since his purchase of Segway, Jimi realized that while trying to be hip, he had actually gone mainstream with his nice suits and much more expensive two wheeled vehicles that were now being used by mall cops everywhere.  Apparently, this troubled Jimi very much.  The other night while he was sitting at home in his mansion, hating himself for making what turned out to be very unhip life choices, Jimi cracked opened a few PBRs, in an attempt to drown his sorrows, and to bring himself back to his hepcat days, before his love affair with Segways.  That night, Jimi hatched a drunken plan that could bring him back to all of his hipster glory.  He decided he would go out in the newest, freshest, hippest way possible.  The next morning, around 11:40 am on September 27, 2010, West Yorkshire Police recieved reports of a man falling thirty feet into the River Wharfe.  Jimi had woken up that morning and in a blaze of glory (or a daze of PBRs) drove his Segway straight off a cliff and became an instant legend.  Jimi Heselden, we (appathetically) salute you.  Your spirit will live on forever, here in the Hepcatmosphere.

What if Super Heroes were Hipsters?

How angry will he get when they go bankrupt?

Collegehumor.com came up with a pretty funny article depicting super heroes as hipsters.  Check it out here: "If Superheroes Were Hipsters"

MTV Video Music Awards

The MTV Video Music Awards Suck.

HIPSTER FIGHT!!! (Well, Kinda)

Earlier this week I posted a video of a no-holds  barred hipster brawl that was pretty much as violent as this fight.  Now I'd like to share with you a hipster throwdown that is even more hep than the skinny jean, tank-top clad slapfest that was "Gay Hipster Fight".

I'd like to introduce you to Hipster Boxing. Hipster boxing pulls hipsters' profile pictures from facebook and puts hipsters head-to-head in a battle to see who is the hepest cat.  The site provides you with two pictures and you simply pick who the bigger hipster is.  Yuo can also upload pictures of your own hipster friends and see how they fare.  Naturally, the participants don't care if they win or lose, and probably don't consider themselves hipsters to begin with, but definitely are (at least most of them, I'll get to this). 



Pick Me. (Or not.)



As Hipster Boxing explains it:

"Will the idyllic photo of Liam wearing an 80’s track suit in an open field be enough to dwarf Scarlet’s fake granny glasses, fem-mullet, and indifferent countenance (partially obscured by bangs)? How will Axel’s empty over-sized frames, flannel shirt, and acid-wash skinny jeans stack up to recent Williamsburg transplant, Ruby, and her ironic confederate flag tattoo?

In Hipster Boxing, we let you make the call."

 

Hipster Boxing does a good job giving the site a true hipster vibe, playing on hipsters' apathy by quoting each contestant with, "Oh. Yeah." or "Pick Me. (Or Not.)".  The one downfall of the site is some of the picutres used.  Many of the site's contestants are not hipsters at all, making some votes a lot easier than others.  The site can be pretty entertaining for a while, simply because you are perusing a collection of hipsters' profile pictures, which are always enjoyable, however, after a few minutes the pictures start to recycle, and you start to see that many of the pictures don't belong on a hipster site. Additionally, if you do enjoy the site, whatever you do, don't look at the Leaders section, that's where the site loses all credability as being hep.  Overall, it's a great premise, and while it may not be executed as well as it could be, it's still pretty deck.  Thank you, Hipster Boxing for finally providing a place where hipsters can duke it out without the embarassing youtube video documenting their lack of athletic ability/muscular systems/motor skills.

HIPSTER FIGHT!!!!

A few notes about this fight:
- Kid in the racerback tank-top was ready for his fight, defintely had the advantage going into this over the kid in flannel and the other guy wearing suspenders.  Everyone knows its much easier to throw over-hand slaps/punches with no sleeves. Unfortunately for him he hasn't had enough PBRs to make him man enough to pack any power behind those hammer slaps. 

- Loved the asian hipster getting in there and throwing a few punches with one hand while never letting go of his street meat.

- Clear winner of this fight was the hipster rocking the white button-down and bow-tie.  While everyone in this fight hasn't the slightest idea how to throw real punches, at least this guy was throwing kidney shots all over the place, not to mention he got a couple strong right hook slaps in on the racerback kid, and no one every really bothered going after him at all.

- Where was the guy who comes in at the 1:12 mark with the cut off jean jacket for this whole fight?  He looks like the one guy who might've been able to do some damage.

- I take that back, where was the shirtless guy with the vest and weird mohawk haircut the whole time? He had to be the best fighter there right? Warriors come out and play-yay!!

Who to follow and what to read

If you happen to have a twitter account(even though it's SO mainstream), you should follow "liberalartsgirl". With recent tweets like "I've been a socialist since middle school", "I just feel like they let in a lot of normal people this year", and "Um, this book club is members only. Sorry." every hepcat will be sure to relate.

Speaking of book clubs, several Hepcatmosphere contributors belong to one. Up next is "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay", by Michael Chabon. So to the millions of Hepcatmosphere followers, pick up a copy. That is, if you're not too busy going to Animal Collective shows or spending your parents' money at American Apparel.

Fashion Forward

While the beautiful, famous and fabulous are engrossed in New York Fashion Week, hep cats are embracing a more obscure fashion trend: Jortveralls.

Denim Shortall, $68, urbanoutfitters.com

You may think overalls are strictly reserved for farmers and field hands. No way, José! Overalls have the startling ability to occasionally break into mainstream culture. Noted overall fans include:

Andre 3000, rapper

The girl who played Alex Mack, The Secret World of Alex Mack

Mario and Luigi, Italian plumbers

If you're skeptical about trying this trend, rest assured that you're in good jortverall company. You can even make jortveralls last through the fall by wearing your favorite tights underneath a pair. Throw on some ankle boots and your fav cardigan and you're ready for Nylon street style!

Donde Esta Los HepZepatos?

In a new segment spearheaded by myself, the where abouts of hipsters in your local area is being highlighted so that you may dress to impress and head down to said territories and get deck. That being said, the first principality in this segment is Davis Sqaure in Somerville Massachusetts. This past friday I stepped off the Davis Sqaure T stop and while heading towards my interview, I found myself in a world unlike any other I had ever inhabited. The first thing one notices about Davis Sqaure is how it feels like you're really 30 odd years in the past based on the size, shape and decor of the buildings. As I sauntered down the street I noticed a multitude of coffee shops all in a half block radius of each other. The most inviting was a local shop by the name of "Diesel Cafe" populated with hard-cover book toting post-adolescents with one of the following; unkempt facial hair, Buddy Holly glasses, flannel shirts, shoes without socks and custom made shorts. In addition there was a gaggle of young ladies with their yoga mats in tote, advertising to everyone that they like to exercise. The interior of the cafe was decorated with ornaments that had no real business being wall decorations in a cafe, making it even more deck. It must be noted that this was the first cafe I had even been to with pool tables in the middle, two to be exact with red felt instead of the traditional green.

With time remaining until my interview, I decided to sample some of the local fare. With my diet restricted to mostly non-solid food I ordered a summer squash soup and a cup of joe. Let me just say this, the soup was neither here nor there, but the coffee was the strongest I have ever tasted. It took me about a half hour to down the 16 oz. cup and it made me wonder how these hipsters get such little done with so much caffine circulating through their system. The prices were less than flattering, but in a place such as this, one pays for atmosphere. Regardless, I had an nice visit to the area and became more self aware to where all the hipsters were hiding in my fair city. Until next time, caio.

Beer of the Week: Pabst Blue Ribbon

Hipster of the Moment

Editor's Note: These days, being hip is trendy. You can't walk down Bedford Ave without someone smacking you with their satchel (slung across their chest, of course) or their keffiyeh blowing in your face. Despite the ubiquity of hipsters in today's society, there are certain individuals whose star shines a little brighter, whose jeans are a little skinnier, whose facial hair is just a bit more ironic. They are the leaders of the hep cat pride; they are the Hipster of the Week.

(EDIT: Because the real world won't stop hasseling me, a weekly honoree is just not feasible. Instead, I will be posting recognized hipsters over undefined increments of time AKA whenever I feel like it. - XOXO Jade)

Spotlight on : Elaine Benes

Who: Fictional character/member of the Seinfeld entourage

D.O.B.: Unknown

How Hip is She:

Elaine Benes ruled the Upper West Side for nine years with everyone's favorite neurotic New Yorkers. Having once dated Jerry Seinfeld's character, Elaine spent most of the show as a serial dater. She worked as a writer/editor and had some killer dance moves.

Although Cosmo Kramer may have been a hipster doofus (and thus, the more obvious choice for Hipster of an Arbitrary Amount of Time), Elaine Benes is influencing today's fashion in ways no one could have ever seen coming. Her Urban-Amish look is not only gracing the UWS, it's spreading throughout Manhattan (though this time, it isn't as conservative). In fact, I was riding on the L train this weekend and saw a hep cat wearing a plaid minidress with penny loafers and socks. Florals, lace, and denim--things Elaine's stylist swore by--are all currently en vogue. Will this lead to more 90s trends coming back in style? We'll just have to wait and see.

Hear Ye Hear Ye, A Decree for All HepCats

Listen up ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls; the time is now. It is now the time to do whatever it is you want in your respective lives because there may be a day right around the corner when you have to take a departure from your lifestyle. I say this because in the past week I had minor surgery (if you can even call it that), the only reason it was significant is because I was restricted to eating non-solid foods. As a result I came to the stark realization that upon recovery I needed to induldge my every food and drink fantasy that appealed to me. While I was lying there getting the work done, numbed up on novicaine I imagined what it would be like to have a procedure that was done that would render me unable to do some of the things I had been so accustomed to in my life. I decided then and there that it was only reasonable to not take anything for granted in my diet because there may come a day when it is taken away from me.

Now I understand this may not be relatable to most and incoherent to others, but if you can take away anything its that you shouldnt hold anything back. There will come a time in all of our lives when we cannot partake in certain indulgences and at that moment when we realize it, we are flooded with regrets of not doing so. As a result I condone and comission all those who read this to go where their mind takes them and not be subdued by the protocol of others or of society. Because unless it is something outrageous or catostrophic, people don't really give a shit and will go on about their business as you go about yours. As for what this article has to do with hipsters, I can only say that all I want to do is cut the legs off my jeans, buy a six pack of PBR, hop on my bycicle and pedal until I reach Davis Square to schmooze with my bretheren in all of our hipster glory. Amen.

Pre-historic hipsters

Classic.