LATFH

"I ironically love irony"

 

Meet Jimi Heselden.  Jimi is a British millionaire worth an estimated £166 million.  In December of 2009, Jimi turned in some of his millions along with his fixie, to purchase Segway.  Well evidently, since his purchase of Segway, Jimi realized that while trying to be hip, he had actually gone mainstream with his nice suits and much more expensive two wheeled vehicles that were now being used by mall cops everywhere.  Apparently, this troubled Jimi very much.  The other night while he was sitting at home in his mansion, hating himself for making what turned out to be very unhip life choices, Jimi cracked opened a few PBRs, in an attempt to drown his sorrows, and to bring himself back to his hepcat days, before his love affair with Segways.  That night, Jimi hatched a drunken plan that could bring him back to all of his hipster glory.  He decided he would go out in the newest, freshest, hippest way possible.  The next morning, around 11:40 am on September 27, 2010, West Yorkshire Police recieved reports of a man falling thirty feet into the River Wharfe.  Jimi had woken up that morning and in a blaze of glory (or a daze of PBRs) drove his Segway straight off a cliff and became an instant legend.  Jimi Heselden, we (appathetically) salute you.  Your spirit will live on forever, here in the Hepcatmosphere.